Monday, December 6, 2010

10 Principles For Success In Relationship

On the path to self mastery we must each address how to deal with relationships. The most common of course would be the relationships pertaining to love, courtship, commitment and marriage. Though different feelings are at play during each of these phases there are certain principles that are important during the interplay between all the personalities involved. These principles are in no way exclusive to amorous relationships, they can be applied to a variety of relationships.

These principles would encompass Trust, Honesty, Communications, Listening, Patience, Respect, Priorities, Commitment, Planning, Follow Through. These Principles are the foundation of any and all relationships.

Trust:

Whether you are dealing with a spouse, lover, friend, associate, work partner, family member or any other individual there must be a mutual trust in order for a relationship to be on solid footing. It is incumbent on you to instill trust and have trust in the other person or the relationship will eventually fall apart.

Honesty:

Any relationship that is not rooted in honesty will cause confusion and the personalities involved will soon assume that whatever is said may not be truthful, therefor the first principle of trust will never develop.

Communications:

One of the biggest problems with relationships is the lack of communications. It is perhaps the principle that is most neglected and the one that should be the anchor for a successful relationship. In some cases what is said can be destructive and other times what is not said leads to a breakdown that ends in a breakup. It is through communications that the principles of trust and honesty are established. Every effort should be made to communicate honestly without being obnoxious or destructive.

Listening:

In order to for a relationship to flourish those that are involved must develop the habit of listening. When you are predisposed to just thinking of yourself the other persons concerns are not addressed and important information might be ignored. Listening is an art.You will find that the more you listen to others and comment on their feelings the stronger the relationships grow.

Patience:

Relationships take time. They grow with time as those who enter into a relationship will slowly learn the depth of their feelings. In the process judgments can be made as to the worthiness of that relationship.

Respect:

Any relationship worth having must have a mutual respect. That respect must be inwardly as well as outwardly. When one person disrespects another in front of others (even jokingly) it is inappropriate and detrimental to that relationship.

Priorities:

If the individuals concerned have a different set of priorities then there will be a strain in that relationship. The importance of communicating and listening are the two principles which play a greater part of determining those priorities. Depending on how intense their priorities are will determine the success of that relationship.

Commitment:

A strong relationship must have mutual commitments. Whether it be as life partners or business partners there has to be a commitment on all sides. This commitment is made after the parameters of the relationship is established. Too often there is a lopsided commitment and problems arise from those disparities. Again it is important to communicate honestly and listen intently so there is no confusion as to the degree of commitment.

Planning:

Once things start falling in line and all parties communicate their needs, expectations and commitments then it would be wise to set up a plan to keep the relationship on track. When talking about planning it is necessary to put aside time. All relationships need defined periods of time for success. Marriage, sexual as well as platonic relationship, business affiliates and friendships need segments of time where there is interaction and communication.

Follow Through:

Once everything is communicated, committed to and agreed upon it is imperative that it be followed through. Too often relationships are destroyed because one of the parties does not fulfill their part of the relationship. Sometimes this is the result of outside influences, prior commitments, work obligations and things that crop up unexpectedly, however to develop good relations there must be some mechanism in place to deal with changes. This should be developed during the planning stage of the relationship.

Much of what I have written here is generic however the principles apply to any relationship involving love, lust, or social interaction with spouses, lovers, children, siblings, family, co-workers, friends, and supervisors. Following these core principles should help you to develop and maintain a good relationships or to discover that the relationship was not appropriate. I should also stress that one need not seek perfection in developing relationships since we are all human and have our own shortcomings. These principles are intended as guidelines and subject to individual perceptions of others.

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